It is with a full heart that I am letting you know that our beloved Steve passed away last Friday morning, September 7th. We will miss him greatly. It is some consolation that he went quite peacefully — which is the kind of “exit” he was wanting. He was surrounded by family: Present in the room were myself (Connirae), along with our two oldest sons, our daughter-in-law, and young grandson, plus one close family friend. Our third son plus other two daughter-in-law’s and grandchildren were able to be with us through Zoom. I was grateful for each of their presence in holding the space for Steve’s transition and passing.
Some of you may know that Steve had been feeling ready to go for some time. (He had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and his condition declined faster than we expected.) A few days before he died, Steve said he was feeling like a prisoner in the body he had, which could now do almost nothing. He was spending almost all the 24 hours lying down in bed, and even the smallest movements took huge effort. He said to me that it was difficult for him to get across to those of us around him how difficult his experience had become.
He made the choice to use Medical Aide in Dying, which became legal in Colorado about a year ago. On the morning of the 7th, he confirmed to us that it felt like the right choice for him. After his final goodbyes, he took the medicine, took a deep breath, and almost immediately let out a big sigh that looked like relief. He looked more relaxed than I’d seen him in a long time. We don’t know exactly when the end came, but probably within 15 to 45 minutes.
We want to thank those of you who have emailed with condolences and love. Some of you have shared touching stories of how Steve and/or Steve’s work has had a positive impact on your life. These emails definitely touch us, and I like to think these heartfelt expressions also find their way to Steve, wherever he may be now. (One writer expressed that perhaps Steve is now in heaven, laughing because he never believed in any of that.)
Who knows. But we do appreciate the wide community of people who are generously extending their kind intentions our way and Steve’s way. (We hope you understand that our reply to you is likely to come “invisibly” through our felt appreciation, rather than a written response.)
Steve’s life mission was to understand human nature, and to make the most effective methods of personal transformation and change widely accessible. Fortunately Steve’s work can live on: through the many examples of his trainings and client work recorded on video, through the books, and also through those of us who continue to utilize this work.
Steve has always been devoted to precision in his work, recognizing that this holds the key to getting significant and reliable results.
He considered his most significant contributions to be his Transforming Your Self work (which will continue to be available on streaming video), and the understanding of scope and category he lays out in the books, Six Blind Elephants.
While he was still alive, Steve told me many times that he is thankful that Mark, Tamara, and I will be continuing this work in our own way, through Real People Press, Andreas NLP Trainings, and our other trainings and client work. While each of us has a unique personal style, we share the same commitment to precision and effectiveness. We will do our best to continue being a resource for the good.
And what about the blog? Our plan is to continue this blog: Steve wrote one more blog post which will go out soon. After that Tamara, Mark, and I expect to make posts, with occasional guest posts. All of Steve’s posts will remain available here as a resource.
We have been taking some quiet family days, spending time in nature with the children and grandchildren and local friends. It’s a beautiful fall here in Colorado and as we spend time in nature with the children and grandchildren, perhaps Steve is smiling at us through the leaves of the trees.
Connirae, Mark, & Tamara